Since I’ve turned 25, this point couldn’t have been made any more clear to me: people are unsculptable. Yes I just made up a word. Haven’t found a word in the dictionary to drive the point home as clear as I would have liked. So when all else fails, make up your own word. And along with my own word comes my own definitions:
Unsculptable: not able to be changed, altered (not even a little bit), bent or shaped or fashioned by you
I’ve learned that no attempt at changing someone, is ever going to work. No amount of hoping you model behavior that you would like the person you are in a relationship with to imitate will work either. No amount of schooling will do it. You will never have to tell a man in love what to do. But it’s when you attempt to tell a man who isn’t in love how to imitate the actions of one who is, frustration is not even an adequate description of how it feels.
And I suppose part of the problem lies in making someone your own personal project. Thinking that there is a chance that you could fashion them after your own liking. Change their definition of who they are when they are in a relationship with you. But just like I made up my own word and my own definition, people do that with themselves and their relationships. People are their own person and with being your own person comes your own definitions of what it means to be you. People form their own relationships and they come up with their own definitions of what it means to be in a relationship with you.
You’ll know when you’ve found the right person for you when you both understand, appreciate and are satisfied with all the made up definitions of that person. And you don’t feel the need to alter that person’s definition of either themselves or who they are when they are with you in a relationship.
The Boo-Less Life 