On the job front, a fellow co-worker received an email filled with what was titled: A Hot Ghetto Mess. So you have a plethora of disturbing photos of mostly black people doing/wearing the most outlandish things. Completely pointless and ridiculous, making fools out of not only themselves but every black person some people in other countries will ever know due to the world wide web. The email was none the less circulated and my co-worker made a note worthy comment about it: sometimes people are so desperate for attention that any attention even if it’s negative will do. And of course, it got me to thinking about that statement in regards to relationships/men. Couple that with various similar current life “circumstances” of both myself and those close to me and the notion of settling raised by a fellow blog buddy… a new post was birthed.
Are we settling for who I’d like to call Mr. Right There, because we are attention starved from a Mr. Right who only exists in our imagination. A Mr. Right who we’ve only ever really seen in our dreams and can’t be certain he’ll ever appear. But I do think the same notion of being so desperate for attention from a boo that you are willing to settle for who’s available right now even if we know they aren’t “the one”. So what you wind up with is a whole lot of fill-ins. Men who you allow to occupy the blank spaces of time in your life just because they are Right There, not even coming close to being the Mr. Rights we’ve been waiting to sweep us off our feet. But not only are they available when we’d like them to be, they can’t really do any thing for us that we can’t do for ourselves. We’re using them as place holders until the real one steps on the scene.
Well then the question of why we allow this to take place must indefinitely arise. And it’s because we’re so desperate for someone to occupy that space in our lives that anyone will do. All the expectations we’ve held of Mr. Right are temporally abated and some times all that counts is that Mr. Right There, is right there just when we need him. How minimum our requirements become when we’re “desperate”. Would you prefer a Mr. Right who is seemingly delaying his arrival in your life indefinitely, or a Mr. Right There who is nothing we would have accepted under other circumstances?
The Boo-Less Life 
A tough call – Mr Right Now is often someone whom we often call ‘Mr Right’ – for our psyches or his. As long as we remember the difference, we’ll abide.
Sincerely,
Ms Manners.