What You Watching For?

They say watched pots never boil.  And although it is most applicable as a metaphor, things really do seem to take a longer time to cook when you’re eyeing it.  I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve stirred a pot full of food on an empty stomach and it feeling like it took an eternity to finally be ready.   But this expression got me to thinking about how many other areas in our lives this concept applies to.   And the truth of the matter is that it’s all a matter of perspective.  In all actuality it takes the same amount of time to cook the same meal whether you’re hungry or full but your condition is going to color your perspective greatly and I’d argue that the same is true of relationships.

Why does it seem that the more you want a relationship, the longer it takes to finally come about?  The more you desire companionship, the further away all prospects seem to be?   I’ve come to learn that it’s the same principle as the watched pot, it always boils… eventually, just not as fast as we would have liked.  So what do we coin a new phrase?  Watched relationships never come to fruition.  Only they do, with time, they spring up from even the most deserted fields of singleness.  The seed of it had been hidden so deep underneath the parched surface it was almost impossible to believe it was there.  But it was and it does spring up when you least expect it. 

So what are you waiting for?  Get on with your life.  Enjoy it.  Single life is time you never get back once you take that plunge into the never-ending abyss of love, romance and coupledom.  Stop watching and waiting for life to start once you find a boo and start watering your life with new discoveries of you!  It’s only when you try to run on empty that you’re heightened to the emptiness that’s around you to distract you from the real emptiness that’s with in.

The X-Y Factor

Recently, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, has been having a lot of segments dealing with relationships. I myself, have been late to work due to catching these segments. Don’t know what the recent obsession with relationship/love/breakup/advice has been as of late, but if nothing more I am sure it is designed to get ratings to skyrocket through the roof. It’s apparently working, at least in my household that is. Perhaps I can attribute my newly found ‘blissful boo-less state‘ to these segments. Overwhelming amounts of you didn’t need him anyway spiels are always a plus [lol, kidding, or maybe not]. People want to know about love, relationships and the like. It’s especially good to know that you and your feelings are not unique, odd, strange or so foreign that no one else can possibly relate. I think their specials are particularly helpful for those reasons. The segment, The Case of the Ex, which had a panel of “relationship experts” giving advice on getting over the ex discussed things one can do to “speed up the process”. The videos are included for your viewing pleasure and are being mentioned since we are on the topic of exes.

Which brings me to probably the most noteworthy thing I’ve ever heard anyone say when encouraging one to get over an ex. If those segments with Mike and Juliet didn’t contribute to my new philosophy, this statement surely did. And as much as I wish this was the product of my own thinking, I regretfully confess that I am stealing this from someone else. Okay, so you have to give me some credit for not passing this off as bi-product of my own brilliance, but I think everyone will appreciate this, nonetheless. So here we go, drum-roll please……

Eventually you will get to the place when your exes become whys…

And instead of crying over losing them, you will be wondering why you even dated them in the first place

It’s a true statement that the greatest healer of a broken heart is time. But it’s also true that in time the very ones you sit and cry over now are the very ones that in time: [1] things are put in better perspective, [2] reality sets in, [3] you question your younger [perhaps less experienced, more naive] self’s judgement on selecting that individual as a boo in the first place. But I can’t help but wonder that as with the alphabet, ‘x’ will always be followed by ‘y’, does that mean that that same rule may apply to the dating world? Will exes always be followed by whys??