Independent, that is the question. But not so much should you or shouldn’t you be independent, but what exactly does it mean for a woman to be independent. What happened to the days when independence meant FREEDOM? Now the word has taken on so many different meanings, it’s hard to determine what it means to be or not to be independent. Women who have gotten a hold of this whole “independent movement” and taken it to the extreme say to be independent means “I need no one, I am my own woman. Hear me roar!” In the hands of a man the whole I only like independent women movement leaves women wining and dining the men saying she got it, picking up tabs all the time. With so many suggestions from popular culture and songs I’m not quite sure I’m buying into their ideologies of what it means to be or not to be an independent woman. I don’t appreciate that Jamie and Neyo collabo trying to feed us with this erroneous idea of what it means. Later for that reverse psychology business. I don’t care what anyone says, what makes a woman independent can not be her ability and willingness to wine and dine a man!! My grandmother always told me that you should date a man who can only do for you what you can’t do for yourself. And I must admit that there is definitely some truth to that.
So what is it? What does it mean to be independent? I think it means that a woman is fully aware of her strength and her power yet also is willing to be vulnerable to a man to the RIGHT man. Are we too far removed from the idea that men have specific roles that they should fill? And an independent woman means to be able to do things for herself but allows a man to take his rightful position as provider. A woman who will not be dependent on a man but one who maintains her own… her own identity, her own life, her own success but allows a man to share that space with her…by choice.
You got what I need!! Throw back song right there y’all but timeless in its message, at least for me. See here’s why, there are some women who proclaim to not need men. They are phenomenal women by all intents and purposes. They usually enjoy great success in their careers, are financially stable and can pay their own bills, vacations, cars, etc. Are intelligent and have put themselves through school and have several degrees. They may even be handy around the house and know how to fix things. And usually they’ve been very badly burned by some boy who only professed to be a man. And so they rally: What do I need a man for? I’m my own woman! I got my own! I’m independent!! And that’s cool and all, but I must say that I am not in that camp! I need a man, but the key is I don’t need just any old type of man. And while I recognize my need for a man, that need does not have me. I am not at the mercy of that need. I have choices and options.
