Let’s Celebrate, Shall We?!

ALL MY LADIES WHO ARE INDEPENDENT….

THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN HERE!!!!

ALL MY SINGLE LADIES MAKE SOME NOOOIIIISSSSEEE!!!!

[Cheers and applause]

WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!!

Sooooooo, I know some may be wondering what all the excitement is about and I can explain…. Guys, I think I’ve finally “arrived”.  Since I’ve started this blog some six to seven months ago, it was a therapeutic avenue I was employing to help me get over two break-ups and come to grips with this whole notion of being single.  Being single and fabulous was the furthest thing from my thinking.  Somehow the gloom from breaks-ups fogged up my vision making it hard for me to see just how fabulous and single could co-exist in the same sentence.  Though I had parted with the ‘boo-ed up’ life, the memories of it were on constant repeat in my mind.  And though I spent countless sleepless nights reminiscing, while sheding tears other nights, those memories are things I didn’t want to part with because they represented to me  the ideal:  namely, having someone you can call your own, someone to love, to hold, having a boo.  Couple that with the notion that I once held that only pathetic women who have something wrong with them are single (yes as ashamed as I am to admit it, I did once believe this, key word- once), and it’s no wonder I’m celebrating the fact those are no longer my views!!!

*Sigh of relief*

I looked around me yesterday and realized:

• I currently share an apartment with my sister
• I pay my portion of the bills on my own
• I have two jobs
• I’m putting myself through school
• I’m really bright
• I’m talented
• I’m attractive
• I HAVE IT GOING ON

Those realizations led to these other observations:

• I have no boo
• I am doing all these things on my own without a boo
• My life is perfectly great and fantastic without a boo
• My life is 250% better than it was when I was with either one of my boo’s
• I don’t need a boo [at least not right now]

As if all of this weren’t already enough to get excited and celebrate about…there remains one more piece to this puzzle….drum roll please…….

I’ve finally decided to let go of the memories!!! Let go of all the reminiscing, the hopes, the regrets.  I’ve arrived at a place of contentment.  It’s been a long time coming and though I’ve made temporary pit-stopsat this place before, followed by ever longer stops at places where I dwelt on the past state of affairs with boos, I’m fairly certain I’m here to stay!!!  I’m not looking for love anymore, bending over backwards to find it, twisting people’s arms to get it, jumping through hoops to earn it, becoming something or someone I’m not to win it…I’m just going to go on about my life being wonderfully me.  And I’ll let love find me when ever it does.  But in the  meantime, I’m hitting the play button on a life that has been on pause mode for way too long.

The Blissful Life

I know I have been away for a while. This hiatus has me returning not only with a new leash on life but with an entirely different perspective all together. It’s dawned on me that I have been approaching this thing all wrong. The boo-less life is not the drab, worthless, depressing existence I had previously chalked it up to be. Well, at least that is the approach I assumed for most of what I have posted thus far. Granted, having just come out of a three year relationship, immediately followed by a three-month-relationship with an ex from my very distant past, I found myself suffering from a severe-or-not-so-severe case of the boo-less blues. But after three weeks of: tears, recounted memories, reflections, re-evaluations, rants, dissections, inspections and the like, I am convinced that a simple shift in focus enables one to see just how blissful life can be without a boo–or at the very least, my life is more blissful without the boos I’ve had. Now while I can count on one hand the amount of relationships I’ve had, that of course is neither here nor there, I do know enough to know that the boo-less blues is nothing more than a phase, a fleeting, passing moment in time that is temporary-however permanent it may feel. And get this, it’s completely normal. When you’re in love, you’re said to be wearing “rose-colored-glasses,” these tinted lenses of love that somehow manage to taint everything your boo does so that it all looks beautiful to you. It blinds you to all their faults, magnifies their good qualities, distorts their least flattering features, deletes most if not all imperfections, and causes you to overlook his/her short-comings and inconsistencies. Once you’re boo-less, I think you put on a different pair of glasses altogether, perhaps “blue-colored-glasses.” With these set of lens through which you view your life and your most recent past experiences, they may blind you to the real complications you had while in the relationship, magnify your own faults and newly found singleness, distort your self-image so that you view yourself as a failure, delete the possibility that your life is perhaps much better without that boo and makes you overlook the fact that you are still hot stuff. However I am convinced that there is a cycle every single person goes though, once I piece it together I will be sure to post it. But at the moment some of the stages include:

1. Newly found boo-less-ness
2. Boo-less blues
3. Blissful boo-less-ness
4. Frustrated boo-less-ness
5. Attempts at escaping boo-less-ness
6. Embraced boo-less-ness
7. The Boo-Less Spokesperson

Which one are you?