Let’s Celebrate, Shall We?!

ALL MY LADIES WHO ARE INDEPENDENT….

THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN HERE!!!!

ALL MY SINGLE LADIES MAKE SOME NOOOIIIISSSSEEE!!!!

[Cheers and applause]

WHOOOOO HOOOOO!!!

Sooooooo, I know some may be wondering what all the excitement is about and I can explain…. Guys, I think I’ve finally “arrived”.  Since I’ve started this blog some six to seven months ago, it was a therapeutic avenue I was employing to help me get over two break-ups and come to grips with this whole notion of being single.  Being single and fabulous was the furthest thing from my thinking.  Somehow the gloom from breaks-ups fogged up my vision making it hard for me to see just how fabulous and single could co-exist in the same sentence.  Though I had parted with the ‘boo-ed up’ life, the memories of it were on constant repeat in my mind.  And though I spent countless sleepless nights reminiscing, while sheding tears other nights, those memories are things I didn’t want to part with because they represented to me  the ideal:  namely, having someone you can call your own, someone to love, to hold, having a boo.  Couple that with the notion that I once held that only pathetic women who have something wrong with them are single (yes as ashamed as I am to admit it, I did once believe this, key word- once), and it’s no wonder I’m celebrating the fact those are no longer my views!!!

*Sigh of relief*

I looked around me yesterday and realized:

• I currently share an apartment with my sister
• I pay my portion of the bills on my own
• I have two jobs
• I’m putting myself through school
• I’m really bright
• I’m talented
• I’m attractive
• I HAVE IT GOING ON

Those realizations led to these other observations:

• I have no boo
• I am doing all these things on my own without a boo
• My life is perfectly great and fantastic without a boo
• My life is 250% better than it was when I was with either one of my boo’s
• I don’t need a boo [at least not right now]

As if all of this weren’t already enough to get excited and celebrate about…there remains one more piece to this puzzle….drum roll please…….

I’ve finally decided to let go of the memories!!! Let go of all the reminiscing, the hopes, the regrets.  I’ve arrived at a place of contentment.  It’s been a long time coming and though I’ve made temporary pit-stopsat this place before, followed by ever longer stops at places where I dwelt on the past state of affairs with boos, I’m fairly certain I’m here to stay!!!  I’m not looking for love anymore, bending over backwards to find it, twisting people’s arms to get it, jumping through hoops to earn it, becoming something or someone I’m not to win it…I’m just going to go on about my life being wonderfully me.  And I’ll let love find me when ever it does.  But in the  meantime, I’m hitting the play button on a life that has been on pause mode for way too long.

Ring the Alarm

Perhaps this will be one of my most informal entries.  I have a thousand things to say yet have no idea how or where  to begin.  So many thoughts, yet organizing them right now will require more mental energy than I am willing or able to exert at this point (for various reasons).  And rightly so…this is an emergency…who can think straight under extreme conditions?  I’m just a little concerned and I think an alarm definitely needs to be sounded at the decline of eligible bachelors for those of us who are not getting any younger.  The older you get the margin of available men decreases more drastically than I am comfortable with.  It’s nothing new that the availability of men for black women is already low due to black men going to prison.  This is a dynamic that has been in place for quite some time, yet it never really concerned me until now. 

I have been about my boo-less life for some months now and I am becoming increasingly concerned as I see what various women older than myself are up against.  They are alone because there are no available men.  Either unavailable due to being married, being in a long term relationship, having several baby mama’s, or even worse yet, they are single but are emotionally unavailable.  What about the men that have grown so accustomed to the single, bachelor life-style that (1) they would not be wiling to exchange that for a serious committed relationship and (2) there is no woman I know that would ever be comfortable with it.

This is the part that alarms me…the implications!  What does all of this suggest?  What are our options? 

Does this “BOO-RECESSION” mean:

1. Whoever you can get that is half-way decent, you better hold on to ‘em?
2. Rather than deal with the fear of facing the rest of ones life alone, you settle for whoever is willing to be with you?
3. You lower your standards and assume the life-style of an eligible baccalaureate?  Not seeking any more than just a few flings so that your sexual itch is scratched?
4. You suffocate your dream of having a relationship with someone that is based on friendship, deep appreciation and admiration because like the job market, qualified men becoming obsolete?
5. My reservations against Jagged Edge, Let’s Get Married, don’t apply any more?  I used to hate this song.  How could a man site his number one reason for wanting to marry you was the fact that you two aren’t getting any younger.  These days I am beginning to understand that; even that admission now is regretful.

Can ones twenties be likened to the Bermuda Triangle?  They say once people travel in that area, they never return.  If you escape your twenties boo-less is it a Bermuda Triangle experience trying to find a man, or will you remain single for the rest of your life?  Ring the alarm…cause I’ll be darned if I leave my twenties without a boo on my arm!

Boo-Less Anthem

Dear Boo-Less One aka Survivor:

If you ever thought you couldn’t survive the boo-less life, Destiny’s Child is here to serve as a constant reminder that you can. Never mind that Beyonce is [dare I say happily] married and not the least bit boo-less. And setting aside the fact that I personally do not know what the relationship status is with the other two members, their message is encouraging and the most empowering boo-less-anthem, none the less. If your (no longer) boo ever exaggerated the importance and worth of him in your life, or if you yourself are the guilty party… this is for you. You may be minus one but you are much better off. If you don’t thinks so, do the math yourself. Oh boo-less one, you can and will survive!

What Boo Thought Would Happen to you	What Actually Happened to You
Thought you’d be weak	You’re stronger
Thought you’d be broke	You’re richer
Thought you’d be sad	You laugh harder
Thought you wouldn’t grow	You’re wiser
Thought you’d be helpless	You’re smarter
Thought you’d be stressed	You’re chillin’
Thought you couldn’t breathe	You’re inhaling
Thought you couldn’t see	You have perfect vision
Thought you wouldn’t last	You’re lasting
Thought you would die	You’re living
Thought that you would fail	You’re on top
Thought it would be over by now	You won’t stop
Thought you’d self destruct	You’re still here