Looking at the title of my blog, giving particular attention to the brief explanation of it: the ups and downs of life without a ‘boo’, makes me chuckle. Because even if I changed the blog title to “The Boo-ed Up Life” or the “The Un-Boo-less Life”, that summary statement would remain the same. The ups and downs of life with a boo. And take my word for it, boy are there some ups and man are there even harder downs. I want to do a post eventually where I detail all the things I thought relationships were about before I was in one and show how most, if not all, of my preconceived notions and ideas were, well, more so rooted in fantasy than reality. But we’ll save that for a later post. Much I want to say. Pretty random thoughts though. Not sure how to piece in all together in one cohesive whole. But such is life right? And for the purposes of this blog, such are relationships. Rarely do things fit together neatly. So having said that please consider these scattered “revelations” if you will, with no particular relevance to each other but elements none the less that when blended together in practice, maybe help things come together in a relationship somehow…
I’m starting to rethink the notion that the epitome of a successful relationship is one where both strive to reach a place of unthinkingly communicating with each other. Meaning, you have a thought and then immediately blurt it out. Maybe it’s cute as a child, the kind of knee jerk reactions our words have with our thoughts. We think, we speak and leave others to sort through what we failed to, or when we are kids don’t even recognize we needed to. I think it’s problematic to equate this with a sense of being true to oneself and someone else in relationships. Not everything you think needs to be said. Maybe if we put a little more care and thought into what we say to our significant’s, we would see and enjoy better out comes. I don’t know. I’ll try it out for size and let you all know. And might I add it is a hard thing to divorce yourself from some of the things you think, but between time, experience and life, you eventually realize something is not working and it’s normally our thought patterns. A pastor I listen to often says that attitude determines approach, and it is sometimes the wrong attitudes we choose to approach our significant’s in, and well you know the rest of the story…
Without humility in a relationship, the relationship just won’t work. I heard this past weekend that when you don’t operate in humility, you are imitating Satan. And that was enough for me to want to run from pride like you can’t even imagine. But I can see how even pride in relationships, only destroys…
And finally, words don’t work in relationships. No matter what you say, only what you do matters. No amount of pleading, begging, talking, crying, screaming, will ever get results. It’s best to just keep your mouth shut I’m learning and just act. And act consistently with the love you say you have for someone.
